CNo matter what you do to bring home a paycheck, if you are a parent, you have the most important job in the world. In this world that no longer makes sense, we may have it harder than any other generation before us in raising our children. Our children face issues that we didn't. Whether it's terrorism, sex, drugs, or school shootings, it's up to us to protect them and teach them right from wrong. Right? Isn't that what a parent is supposed to do?

Parents sacrifice all for their children. Parents give 100%, no matter what. Parents have a job that never ends, and when you're single it's ten times harder. Being a single mother myself, I know the lack of support that we get from the school system, the basketball/soccer/T-ball coaches, our churches, and even our families. I give much love to all single parents that give their all. 

Believe me when I say that your time spent with your children is never wasted. Why do I bring that reminder? Because sometimes I wonder what's going on when I look at some of these so-called parents out here. Please let me make something clear. Just because someone had sex and nine months later had a baby, doesn't mean that they are a parent. Men and women are both guilty of this, and they're both wrong. 

What kind of woman neglects her children? She can be called Project Mama, Chicken Head, or Trailer Trash; she can be White, Black, Latina, or Asian. . . it doesn't matter. Triflin' is triflin'. Period. 

There's a line in a song that goes, "It's sad to see Mommy looking fly, the kids looking dirty, and Daddy's gone bye-bye." I couldn't agree more. So many women today are having babies with no intentions of taking care of them. Is it to trap a man? Is it to have what their girlfriends have? Is it just that they don't understand how birth control works? 

I don't know. These women always have excuses for their actions, such as: "It's hard without their father." 

I'm a single mother myself.
"I have to work." 
If I have two jobs and can take care of mine, why can't you?
"They take time away from my man." 
Aight now. This is ridiculous. Who's the helpless one here? Your child or your man? If it really is your man, then I feel for you.

There are two reasons why I am so angry over this epidemic. These women make the rest of us who have jobs, places to live, and take care of our own look bad. Men are becoming used to meeting women with a dirty house full of dirty kids, so they lump all single mothers into the same category. These men are tired of taking care of other men's children and think that a woman with kids just wants to get with him to have someone take care of their kids. In the movie, "The Brothers," Bill Bellamy says that he is through with dating Black women because they have too many kids. So much for making an informed decision. The biggest problem though, is that the children suffer. If their mother is too busy clubbin', drinking, and ho'ing, when does she have time to help
with homework and cook dinner? What kind of role model do these children have? A male child growing up in that environment may disrespect all women, because he never had an example of a respectable woman. A female child may become sexually active at an early age. If their mother brings home a different man every week, then why wouldn't she?

I'm not letting the "absent fathers" (as some call them) off the hook. These men come in three different flavors. The first is the one that all single mothers wish we had on our team. He doesn't stop at paying child support; he buys everything his child needs. He is at every school play, basketball game, and scout meeting. He is supportive of whatever he just wants to be involved. He's a good father. The problem is that the mom that does her part never seems to end up with the dad that does his.

The next example is the financially supportive dad. He dutifully pays child support every month, but doesn't do much else. He thinks that as long as he sends a check, that the mom will handle everything else. I have to show respect for this man, because he tries. He's just uninformed. A check cannot take the place a father should have. Money cannot give advice, play catch, help with school projects, or show love. Money pays the bills. Children are not an expense like a car or house.

The third flavor leaves a bitter taste to all that have to swallow it. This is the "sorry excuse for a" father. Does this man really care about his children? His mouth may say "I love you," but his actions show that he doesn't. Half of these men don't pay child support; the ones that do pay only do so to stay out of jail.

They visit when it's convenient. They make promises they have no intentions of keeping. Having a child sit by the window, waiting for a dad that doesn't show up is never a positive thing. Eventually, these kids will stop waiting and stop caring all together. What about the men that do pick up their children, only to spend their time together drinking and trying to holla at women? 

I've heard time and time again that children need fathers. I disagree. Children need good fathers. It's better to have no father at all, than to have a screw up that can leave emotional scars. This is true for mothers, too. I say to all selfish, screw up, so-called parents: do right or let someone else do it for you. It's better that I say it instead of your child. 

The future generation is at stake. We as a community need to be building up children instead of repairing adults. It can take years to correct one careless act of a parent that didn't want to be bothered. Children are the greatest gift God can give; they are not disposable. 

 

 

 

 
"Do They Know?"
bby: Jennifer Angellattat. 
published  by The Writer's Hood on 8/02.  copyright protected